Some advise on a kid always bumming a ride?

My daughter has a best friend of her whole 15yrs of life "Gabby" (they've known each other sensebeing babies and going to the same daycare) and I love the kid myself. But, the prblem is her mom is running a flower shop intown so she stays very busy. Her mom also has 2 small girls-which Gabby takes care of most of the time.The mom has a good for nothing husband (her 4th) which is the father of the two smallest kids. The mom is a good lady just has her plate full and Gabby is paying for that!

My question is that I am always giving Gabby rides EVERWHERE. She has even gotten to the point that when I pull up after shcool to get my child she just loads on in taking it for granted "I" will take her home. I am trying not to be a terd about this but, it is very inconvient for me sometimes when I too have two other boys I have to pick up from school and take to their activities. I also work full time and have a very full plate.

Gabby cant help her mom's leaves it up to her to finds rides.

Some advise on a kid always bumming a ride?
First of all, it's not Gabby's fault, so I would speak with her mother about it. I've had this happen before and I know that the child just needs a ride home. Call her mother and work something out with her.
Reply:I would start sending her Mom the gas bill. If she is working she should be able to help "foot" the bill.
Reply:WOW, that's ruff as a former kid who's mother couldn't drive I feel Gabby's pain, but as a mother of 2 I feel yours. You may need to talk to your daughter ask if Gabby has said anything to her about the rides, maybe she asks before you get there and your daughter volunteer's you. You may also need to talk to her mom and tell her she needs to help her daughter find transportation after school or whenever, explain that you too are busy and have responsibilities and as much as you love helping and like the girl it's just becoming another choir on your plate and you have 3 children of your own to take care. Maybe you can say look I don't mind but this is where I'm going and if you want a ride that far it's fine but I can not take you all the way home.



Good Luck! Man I'm so sorry you are in this position, it's tough!
Reply:Please don't take this the wrong way because I mean it as advice and not criticism: You need to open up your heart to this girl and care for her as you can. Her mother has all but sent her out to fend for herself and she likely needs to be kept away from the good-for-nothing husband.



I had a friend in grade school that had a absent father and alcoholic mother. He was always at my house. My mom fed him and even bought him clothes and stuff for school. My folks felt the same as you do, until one day his mother came to pick him and she was drunk and verbally abusive to him. It really shocked my parents to see him made to feel worthless like this and from that point after they never once complained about Pete being around and he was always included, even in chores and discipline when needed.



I went off to college and Pete went to work. He did a few years in the Marines and eventually became a policeman and was the youngest officer ever to make detective in our city. He was given awards and always invited my folks to the ceremonies. When we were both 34, he responded to a domestic "man with gun" call and was shot dead by a husband who was threatening to kill his wife.



My parents were listed as his next of kin because as he put it 'the only folks that ever cared about me' and they were presented the flag at his funeral which had an attendance of over 1500 law enforcement officers from the whole region.



I'm sorry to have such a sad story, but please do what you can for this child. You may be the best friend she has.
Reply:I would call her Mom and explain that she needs to give you gas money every week if you are going to keep driving her daughter around! It's the least she could do!
Reply:The mom must know what you are doing and is 1) Grateful to you and 2) Embarrassed by her situation. Put yourself in her shoes, I would love to have a friends mom care enough about my child that she would step in and help without complaining. Gabby has latched onto you as a substitute mom - which is a wonderful compliment. Sometime 'inconvenience' needs to take a back seat to the welfare of a child that you obviously care for -- or you would have given her the boot a long time ago. Gabby is not too young to sit down and talk to you about this. If you really think something needs to be done, then talk to her about this and see if you can coordinate other rides (with other friends for example). Don't bill the mom for the gas - how tacky!!!! Unless the money is a major issue for you. Then discuss $15 a week with her mom.
Reply:Call her mother tonight and tell her that you will not be able to give her a ride tommorow after school. Tell her straight up that you have so many things to do that you are not going to be going in the area where she needs to be dropped off. Sometimes just being straight up really works.
Reply:Talk to Gabbys mother. Tell her that you don't mind once in a while, but it's getting out of hand. THEN explain to her that a 15yr old shouldn't be responsible for finding her own ride home.. as it can be dangerous ( she decides to walk one day home, on her own... and something happens ).

Guilt trip her.
Reply:give her a bill for baby sitting for her...